I watched this video on CPTSD and chronic loneliness and I felt so inspired by the healing opportunities it represented. I literally sent this message to about 3 people, including my brother who I haven’t seen in over 10 years —
‘Hi, I have CPSTD, which is short for complex PTSD, which means I suffered from abuse and neglect in my childhood. As an adult, I struggle to regulate my emotions and build connections with people and so I suffer from chronic loneliness.
How you doing?
’
The video:
I will write back with what reactions I get.
Just an update on what reactions I got when I sent the above message —
The most interesting response was from my brother. I have not seen him in over 10 years since we had a major falling out when our Gran died. But I did message him out of the blue a few month’s ago, because something came up on my Facebook memories, where he had written something nice about me, so I shared it with him then, and we ended up havhf a brief chat online.
So sending him the above message would still be considered being extremely open and out of blue I think, but he also understands my sense of humour and how my mind works, especially in relation to the rest of my family members, who for some reason found me difficult to understand.
His reaction was good. He watched the video and replied back with a similar humorous resposne, about how he also suffers from chronic loneliness and how am I doing.
He has also had difficulties with work, which sounded really dark: a girl confided in him that she was being sexually harassed and had had to take time off work because she had started to self-harm. My brother went to HR about it and the chef who had been doing the sexual harassment, ended up losing half his pension. But the guy had a lot of friends at work, who started bullying my brother, so my brother had to take 6 months off work. Eventually, his work place created a new role for him, where he only has to work for 2 days for the equivalent of full time wages, or he was going to sue them. So, good on him.
I do not know if my brother will reach out to me on his own accord. He has Venus conjunct Saturn in his chart, and is a Sun Leo and Moon Taurus - so a sweet but stubborn soul. He also has Mars square Pluto exact - an explosive temper! That is how we fell out the last time, because he lost his temper with me and has still not apologised for that. So let’s see what happens. Me reaching out is as much as I can do without saying abuse is acceptable.
Ok, so, I sent the same message to two other guys. One of them replied back giving me a compliment, but he's a smarmy wee *******, with a good sense of humour, who is just trying to butter me up because he is a sex addict. A really nice guy who has a good soul, but he and Sun Sag directly opposite his Moon in Gemini - playaaaaa.
The other guy I messaged is so self-involved, the conversation is drier than….*insert relevant humorous metaphor here.* He wants to date me, but has not yet realised that I am refusing to date him until he asks me even just one bloody question about my own life. His brother died last year, so I appreciate he is on a healing journey right now, which I have encouraged him on, but he was self-involved before his brother died and it is a problem that runs in the family. A generational narcissism. He is a nice guy though but he has not asked me one question about myself for over a year even though he wants to date me
Well, those are the reactions I got.
I am about to go a 10k walk and later this event I hope to write about my past life memories.
Oh, and the guy who I threatened with civil legal action, has not replied to me yet. Honestly, I was more than happy to pay for the flea treatment myself, and I will, and I was only threatening civil legal action to make the point, that he has acted hugely irresponsible and belligerent about this. Either way, he simply cannot visit my home again, if he is refusing to deflea his bloody cat. Honestly, just like Nietzsche said, ‘hell is other people!’
Anyways, I’m away a walk now.