How does one ACTUALLY handle pluto energy?

[love-thinking]

People seem to be obsessed with pluto but nobody discusses how to actually deal with this energy.

I've noticed these things and I've noticed these things as a result of having my generations pluto opposite my moon (which means I have this natally as well). I also realized this after being in a relationship that was somewhat plutonic and observing people in plutonic relationships (some of which had no plutonic aspects in their own charts)

1) Power dynamics. One person or both persons think they are entering the relationship/friendship with clear and well-intending intentions expecting for the other to play their version of fair. In fact their intentions are so well-meaning and pure that when they are eventually disappointed, the pain is too hard to bear.

2)The situation accelerates to the point where the person feels like they are losing their dignity and sense of self respect. Their friends think they're foolish. They feel used and stupid for putting themselves in the situation in the first place. One of them feels like they are being settled for or not good enough.

3) Then they're offered three options.

1. Stay and forgive but although you are dissolving your ideals of what a relationship/friendship looks or dissolving the social conditioning you received, you are putting yourself in harm's way to be taken advantage of some more as you try and cover up your codependence with some nicely crafted philosophical reason. One element of plutonic relationships is surrender.


2. Play the same game with the other person or refuse to be as fair/pure-hearted/self-less which ends up ending badly anyways when you have another who is demanding and wanted you for a completely different persona than the one you're exhibiting. If you guys do work, you'll look like the bad guy as you nicely bring up all the person's wrongs whenever you get a sudden hint of anything similar happening which is more of a natural response to heartbreak/dissapointment/trauma if you really think about it.

3. Leave which is very hard as the karmic element is very difficult to break and who's to say you're not going to experience a similar situation. Or be so bitter and traumatized from the last connection that it prevents you from actually stepping in pure-heartedly in the next connection and then continue to be labeled with all sorts of personality disorders(NPD, BPD, paranoid personality disorder) by your next lovers because you're so afraid to give, and you're so selfish and neurotic in love.

Then it's just a cycle that repeats.

I feel like this energy (I feel sorry for those that are born with a natal aspect of pluto) is like walking on eggshells. You play nice, you get hurt. You play the smart and manipulative role, and all of a sudden you're shunned. You simply react to the external world's BS, and they shut you down while they forget what they did to trigger you in the first place.

Can someone please tell me when the fancy transformation happens? Because all I see is these people press the repeat button to all facets of their life while eventually experiencing the same BS in another form any of the four reactions I have stated gets them hurt anyway.

 

[Chrysalis]

Ive got venus/mars/pluto conjunction in my chart, and currently going through a transit pluto inconjunct mars which is effecting me, bcos of my mars/pluto.

This transit has made me become an undercover detective on all possible dating sites my bf could be on, ive found him on one, so have now set up a fake profile as bait.

My natal configuration, is what makes me obsessed (to a point), not trusting him, falling for him deeply where its then hard to just walk away, even though i know he's no good. Using power play tactics to get control back over things.

I NEVER forgive, i always want revenge. I find it very hard to forgive people. I usually cut them off, and never ever can i forget what they've done to me.

Ive been through many transformations because of my pluto...also pluto is my most dominant planet in my chart. I got into astrology to get over an ex...which is a good thing.

Pluto does change you, my current situation, im not sure how this is gonna change my right now, as im still in the midst of the drama. I need a back bone i think is what it is this time. My conjunction of these planets is in libra....i always wanna please others and end up getting used because of it.

This recent drama with bf, i last friday had my mars/pluto conjunction conjunct my dirual chart MC ...which caused me to tell him something mars/pluto related about my past, which he wasn't happy with....(hes a scorpio sun/mercury too). We broke up.... 1 day later i couldnt take the pain and reached back out, he said he felt the same, but he told me the day before he was on dating sites to get me out of his head.

Pluto energy is hard to deal with....layers and layers come off of you.

 

[mahaira]

It depends on your natal chart, where your strengths and weaknesses lie.

You mention power dynamics... Pluto is always about power and control. When parents try to control their children (because they as adults have the power) it's always for the well-being of their offspring. On one had they are trying to protect them, but on the other they are also making their parenting job easier.

In partner relationships there is always some sort of a fight for power and control. Sometimes it is openly aggressive, other times it is passive-aggressive. Usually both partners play both roles, of a "victim" and of a "controlling person". Even if one seems to be more of a victim, there are times when this partner is using his or hers on set of tools to impose his will.

There are so many different ways of control... One of the most obvious is control through giving and then withholding affection, attention, praise, when someone does something you do not like. This makes the feel as if they had done something wrong and provokes guilt, in people who are prone to this. Others would send you packing.

Everything else you're describing can be grouped more or less under yet another Plutonian trait and that is - OBSESSION.
That is why it feels like "the karma is difficult to break" , you can't get this person out of your heart and mind...
Actually you CAN, but your Pluto receptors (whatever they may be in your natal chart, in mine it's Venus square Pluto) get triggered and one has to play to his strengths if he wants to "break the spell".

But most of the time the "spell" itself is so seductive, that the person does not want to break it. It's like a drug. The high you get from the sheer strength of the emotion is so intoxicating that nothing else comes close. When their Pluto receptors get triggered some people would rather suffer all the downs and disappointments than let go.

I play to the accentuated rationality in my natal chart (Moon conjuct Mercury in Virgo, Sun conjuct Saturn). I'm sure that everyone has something they can use to wake up.
But first they have to want to. When they finally start wanting the transformation comes. Being aware of how bad something is is not enough. A person have to have an intention to change the situation. The first step is to change him or herself. Awareness, intention and action in the right direction

Karma is here to teach and not to be endured.

 

[Chrysalis]

But most of the time the "spell" itself is so seductive, that the person does not want to break it. It's like a drug. The high you get from the sheer strength of the emotion is so intoxicating that nothing else comes close. When their Pluto receptors get triggered some people would rather suffer all the downs and disappointments than let go.

Well said, This is so me. Its like i crave the hurt and pain from pluto energy, no matter how gut renching it is. Ups and downs from a current plutonic r'ship, is very plutonic and core like...where we are both using tactics to hurt each other.
But as mad as this sounds, this makes us want each other even more, the pain brings more obsession with it.

When im okay in life, and the energy is even, its like i crave for some kind of drama and upheaval, When i get it i suffer, but its like its a normal energy i should be feeling. If im feeling like everythings going smoothly, i feel something is off.

I do want saturn (security) in my life, but pluto always takes over.

 

[greybeard]

I don't think we "deal with" Pluto at all. He just has his way with us while we grin and bear it.

 

[love-thinking]

It depends on your natal chart, where your strengths and weaknesses lie.

You mention power dynamics... Pluto is always about power and control. When parents try to control their children (because they as adults have the power) it's always for the well-being of their offspring. On one had they are trying to protect them, but on the other they are also making their parenting job easier.

In partner relationships there is always some sort of a fight for power and control. Sometimes it is openly aggressive, other times it is passive-aggressive. Usually both partners play both roles, of a "victim" and of a "controlling person". Even if one seems to be more of a victim, there are times when this partner is using his or hers on set of tools to impose his will.

There are so many different ways of control... One of the most obvious is control through giving and then withholding affection, attention, praise, when someone does something you do not like. This makes the feel as if they had done something wrong and provokes guilt, in people who are prone to this. Others would send you packing.

Everything else you're describing can be grouped more or less under yet another Plutonian trait and that is - OBSESSION.
That is why it feels like "the karma is difficult to break" , you can't get this person out of your heart and mind...
Actually you CAN, but your Pluto receptors (whatever they may be in your natal chart, in mine it's Venus square Pluto) get triggered and one has to play to his strengths if he wants to "break the spell".

But most of the time the "spell" itself is so seductive, that the person does not want to break it. It's like a drug. The high you get from the sheer strength of the emotion is so intoxicating that nothing else comes close. When their Pluto receptors get triggered some people would rather suffer all the downs and disappointments than let go.

I play to the accentuated rationality in my natal chart (Moon conjuct Mercury in Virgo, Sun conjuct Saturn). I'm sure that everyone has something they can use to wake up.
But first they have to want to. When they finally start wanting the transformation comes. Being aware of how bad something is is not enough. A person have to have an intention to change the situation. The first step is to change him or herself. Awareness, intention and action in the right direction

Karma is here to teach and not to be endured.

In love relationships I've found, even if two people are two somewhat good individuals that are not manipulative, life puts them in a situation where they will automatically will be jealous, angry, manipulative in some way. I read about a story in some astrology podcast about a girl with a venus pluto conjunction but also connection about a guy she had a crush on for a long time who was in love with someone else. He lost her but came back to the venus-pluto native to have sex with her. He eventually left her after impregnating her only to return to her afterwards. The venus-pluto native will always be #2, and feel like he burdened her with a kid and used her. But she'll feel too pathetic to let him go because he's all he knows.

My friend's venlus-parallel pluto connection sent her a video of another girl twerking which led her to do sexual things with another man. (they weren't exclusive.)

During my pluto relationship with my ex, there was this theme as well. You can't help feel insecure. You can't help feel jealous and vengeful. Yet you're obsessed.

I have a moon pluto opposition, I feel like I'll never forgive my mother for standing their and letting my father beat me even at times when I did nothing. And I always feel like I give more to girlfriends than vice versa, always.

People are attracted to you not because you're beautiful/have your **** together, but because they can feed off of your flaws and insecurities and use you as an ego boost or a punching bag or have someone to save. Then you learn to do the same because your subconscious issues now need to feed off of someone else's vulnerabilities and here you are, a lifelong cycle of this ****.

Pluto sex appeal - You're perfect enough to **** and imperfect enough to mind****.

 

[love-thinking]

Ive got venus/mars/pluto conjunction in my chart, and currently going through a transit pluto inconjunct mars which is effecting me, bcos of my mars/pluto.

This transit has made me become an undercover detective on all possible dating sites my bf could be on, ive found him on one, so have now set up a fake profile as bait.

My natal configuration, is what makes me obsessed (to a point), not trusting him, falling for him deeply where its then hard to just walk away, even though i know he's no good. Using power play tactics to get control back over things.

I NEVER forgive, i always want revenge. I find it very hard to forgive people. I usually cut them off, and never ever can i forget what they've done to me.

Ive been through many transformations because of my pluto...also pluto is my most dominant planet in my chart. I got into astrology to get over an ex...which is a good thing.

Pluto does change you, my current situation, im not sure how this is gonna change my right now, as im still in the midst of the drama. I need a back bone i think is what it is this time. My conjunction of these planets is in libra....i always wanna please others and end up getting used because of it.

This recent drama with bf, i last friday had my mars/pluto conjunction conjunct my dirual chart MC ...which caused me to tell him something mars/pluto related about my past, which he wasn't happy with....(hes a scorpio sun/mercury too). We broke up.... 1 day later i couldnt take the pain and reached back out, he said he felt the same, but he told me the day before he was on dating sites to get me out of his head.

Pluto energy is hard to deal with....layers and layers come off of you.

You sound like a classical INFJ/ENFJ.

But **** a venus-pluto conjunction seems quite intense. I have venus quintile pluto. But I think moon-pluto is obsessive in it's own way (I have the opposition).

I hate pluto relationships. It is like someone put a bullet through your heart.

 

[Gemini888]

I have Pluto in its own sign and house, and is part of a T-square with Sun and Mars. Pluto is also the dispositor of NN. Fun fact: Astrodienst calls me a Pluto-dominant.

But here's the strange thing: Pluto lost its influence in my progressed chart, and is replaced by Jupiter, who also stays in 8H natally and is also domiciled. So overal, I don't actually feel the intense energy of Pluto. More precisely, I don't find myself losing control over Pluto's dark energy like most people fear. I do have power issues and stuff, but for some reason it has never manifested in any borderline malicious behavior. There is some influence of Jupiter in the mix of Pluto. Could be Saturn's doing too, with a trine there.

 

[waybread]

I think the main thing is just to stay open to it.

Pluto at its best has an old-into-new transformative quality.

We can help it along by deliberately killing off anything metaphorically dead or dying in our lives. This gives new life space to grow.

So far as bad relationships go, you may have to be the strong one to cut it off. Your self respect can only take so much.

 

[OuterPlanets89]

People seem to be obsessed with pluto but nobody discusses how to actually deal with this energy.

I've noticed these things and I've noticed these things as a result of having my generations pluto opposite my moon (which means I have this natally as well). I also realized this after being in a relationship that was somewhat plutonic and observing people in plutonic relationships (some of which had no plutonic aspects in their own charts)

1) Power dynamics. One person or both persons think they are entering the relationship/friendship with clear and well-intending intentions expecting for the other to play their version of fair. In fact their intentions are so well-meaning and pure that when they are eventually disappointed, the pain is too hard to bear.

2)The situation accelerates to the point where the person feels like they are losing their dignity and sense of self respect. Their friends think they're foolish. They feel used and stupid for putting themselves in the situation in the first place. One of them feels like they are being settled for or not good enough.

3) Then they're offered three options.

1. Stay and forgive but although you are dissolving your ideals of what a relationship/friendship looks or dissolving the social conditioning you received, you are putting yourself in harm's way to be taken advantage of some more as you try and cover up your codependence with some nicely crafted philosophical reason. One element of plutonic relationships is surrender.


2. Play the same game with the other person or refuse to be as fair/pure-hearted/self-less which ends up ending badly anyways when you have another who is demanding and wanted you for a completely different persona than the one you're exhibiting. If you guys do work, you'll look like the bad guy as you nicely bring up all the person's wrongs whenever you get a sudden hint of anything similar happening which is more of a natural response to heartbreak/dissapointment/trauma if you really think about it.

3. Leave which is very hard as the karmic element is very difficult to break and who's to say you're not going to experience a similar situation. Or be so bitter and traumatized from the last connection that it prevents you from actually stepping in pure-heartedly in the next connection and then continue to be labeled with all sorts of personality disorders(NPD, BPD, paranoid personality disorder) by your next lovers because you're so afraid to give, and you're so selfish and neurotic in love.

Then it's just a cycle that repeats.

I feel like this energy (I feel sorry for those that are born with a natal aspect of pluto) is like walking on eggshells. You play nice, you get hurt. You play the smart and manipulative role, and all of a sudden you're shunned. You simply react to the external world's BS, and they shut you down while they forget what they did to trigger you in the first place.

Can someone please tell me when the fancy transformation happens? Because all I see is these people press the repeat button to all facets of their life while eventually experiencing the same BS in another form any of the four reactions I have stated gets them hurt anyway.

This is a late reply, but I thought I'd share my 2 cents, even though I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

I have Venus conjunct Pluto in Scorpio in the 1st, and Venus is my chart ruler (Libra). Like you, everyone in my age group has their Pluto conjunct my Venus, which is very prominent in my chart/personality.

This might not be the best analogy, but think of someone with a hard Pluto aspect (especially with Moon or Venus) like a castle in say, Game of Thrones. The walls are very high and intriguing to others, but inside the castle lies a sick/weak King/Queen. Everyone wants to meet this monarch, but only the owner of this aspect knows how vulnerable they are deep inside.

Naturally the only way to "fix" this aspect in this analogy would be to heal the King/Queen, which would let the owner allow more people inside their walls without risking a ton of pain in the process.

As for how, that's the question. Personally, I think it starts with asking oneself why they're so vulnerable inside those walls. For me, I look back to my childhood and my early family environment first -- why do I need to be liked and be in control of my personal relationships?

---

But I agree that it feels like a lose-lose situation at times, and healing the Pluto wound is much easier said than done. My last two relationships were with partners with their Pluto conjunct my Venus, and both have been painful in different ways -- as I've tried being open, loving and non-controlling, but that has often put me in an overly vulnerable position, especially if you're dating a Plutonic person with their own set of issues.

 

[chiamaria]

I have Pluto trine Moon and square Sun.

I find the Pluto energy to be overrated when I think about it, or at least the ugly parts, which are the parts society tends to like for some reason. People somehow are obsessed with it and wear it like a badge of honour when they call themselves "Plutonian", but when I see Plutonic themes being played out in a person's life, I want to steer clear of them as it looks ugly, entangled and just too heavy. In fact, I'm glad I'm NOT that person. It seems many people like to boast that they're Plutonian, but then when they actually experience the underworld they cry and scream, wondering why they're so cursed. You can't boast about it and then wish it weren't your life theme.

I personally believe I'm very Mercury-ruled (it rules my chart, my moon in Gemini, my Venus in Virgo, is stationary direct and aspects 3 planets plus nodes), but I think I may have had a taste of what it was like to have Pluto play out in my life, and it felt like major hell. I was obsessed with a guy whom I couldn't get over, no matter how hard I tried to move on. Stalking him on the internet, being suspicious, constantly thinking about him, I became a nervous wreck and I hated the person that I'd become. I even convinced him to not kill himself when he was contemplating suicide after being diagnosed as schizophrenic. There was a particular moment at that point in my life where I was sitting by myself and figuratively looking into a deep, dark chasm that I believed represented my future. I felt like death itself even.

What helped ME in my particular situation was that Saturn return was just around the corner. Luckily father Saturn gave me a kick up the deedoo, which motivated me to give the guy the flick as he was truly toxic and poison for me in several ways. It was like an internal switch flipped, because the change was very bizarre and drastic. Before I couldn't let go of the guy, then suddenly all I wanted to do was get rid of him. To this day I worship and adore Saturn as I believe that planet saved me, otherwise I don't know what I would have done with myself if it never existed in our heavens.

I prefer a nice, peaceful life.

 

[greybeard]

Why this compulsion to fix everything, to direct and control, to change and make better?

I wonder what would happen if we just let the plant grow and see what sort of fruit it produces.

 

[greybeard]

You will not control Pluto.


Pluto extirpates. Utter annihilation. Auschwitz. Compulsion. All extremes, including ruthlessness. Sudden and irresistible irruption after long invisibility. Haunting by ghosts from the past. Subtle control and manipulation. Undermining, hollowing out; termites.

If the right one don't get you the left one will, and you'll never see it coming.

Implacable.

 

[waybread]

Right.... in the sense that it is easier to ride the horse in the direction it's going.

In choice-centered astrology, however, you can choose more constructive Plutonian activities so that you don't get blind-sided by its negatives.

Since Pluto deals with a death-rebirth cycle in which decay definitely has a role, it is empowering to metaphorically kill off anything dead or dying in your life. This might be something like ending a toxic relationship or giving your home a complete house-cleaning. Throw out, sell, donate, or give away anything that does not truly support you.

Gardening is a super Plutonian activity because the cycle of birth, life, decay, death, and rebirth is built into it.

(I hate to say this Greybeard, but so is your elk hunting.)

Take long walks after dark. (If your neighbourhood isn't completely safe, take the dog or a companion.)

Read more murder mysteries, especially P. D. James-- a very Plutonian author.

Keep a dream journal. Along with the moon and Neptune, Pluto deals with the subconscious. Most people think they don't remember their dreams but you can improve with practice.

Above all, own your inner Pluto. Don't pretend to be a "Who, me?" nicey-nice kind of person. Because then you will just paste Pluto into other seemingly ruthless people. Your chart will express itself in some fashion.

 

[love-thinking]

I have Pluto trine Moon and square Sun.

I find the Pluto energy to be overrated when I think about it, or at least the ugly parts, which are the parts society tends to like for some reason. People somehow are obsessed with it and wear it like a badge of honour when they call themselves "Plutonian", but when I see Plutonic themes being played out in a person's life, I want to steer clear of them as it looks ugly, entangled and just too heavy. In fact, I'm glad I'm NOT that person. It seems many people like to boast that they're Plutonian, but then when they actually experience the underworld they cry and scream, wondering why they're so cursed. You can't boast about it and then wish it weren't your life theme.

I personally believe I'm very Mercury-ruled (it rules my chart, my moon in Gemini, my Venus in Virgo, is stationary direct and aspects 3 planets plus nodes), but I think I may have had a taste of what it was like to have Pluto play out in my life, and it felt like major hell. I was obsessed with a guy whom I couldn't get over, no matter how hard I tried to move on. Stalking him on the internet, being suspicious, constantly thinking about him, I became a nervous wreck and I hated the person that I'd become. I even convinced him to not kill himself when he was contemplating suicide after being diagnosed as schizophrenic. There was a particular moment at that point in my life where I was sitting by myself and figuratively looking into a deep, dark chasm that I believed represented my future. I felt like death itself even.

What helped ME in my particular situation was that Saturn return was just around the corner. Luckily father Saturn gave me a kick up the deedoo, which motivated me to give the guy the flick as he was truly toxic and poison for me in several ways. It was like an internal switch flipped, because the change was very bizarre and drastic. Before I couldn't let go of the guy, then suddenly all I wanted to do was get rid of him. To this day I worship and adore Saturn as I believe that planet saved me, otherwise I don't know what I would have done with myself if it never existed in our heavens.

I prefer a nice, peaceful life.

I totally agree, pluto is overrated. I see mercurial women and I usually envy them. They are so beautiful, intelligent and social! Wish I had those qualities. I am mostly neptunian, with some venus, pluto and mars.

 

[love-thinking]

Right.... in the sense that it is easier to ride the horse in the direction it's going.

In choice-centered astrology, however, you can choose more constructive Plutonian activities so that you don't get blind-sided by its negatives.

Since Pluto deals with a death-rebirth cycle in which decay definitely has a role, it is empowering to metaphorically kill off anything dead or dying in your life. This might be something like ending a toxic relationship or giving your home a complete house-cleaning. Throw out, sell, donate, or give away anything that does not truly support you.

Gardening is a super Plutonian activity because the cycle of birth, life, decay, death, and rebirth is built into it.

(I hate to say this Greybeard, but so is your elk hunting.)

Take long walks after dark. (If your neighbourhood isn't completely safe, take the dog or a companion.)

Read more murder mysteries, especially P. D. James-- a very Plutonian author.

Keep a dream journal. Along with the moon and Neptune, Pluto deals with the subconscious. Most people think they don't remember their dreams but you can improve with practice.

Above all, own your inner Pluto. Don't pretend to be a "Who, me?" nicey-nice kind of person. Because then you will just paste Pluto into other seemingly ruthless people. Your chart will express itself in some fashion.

I'm going to look into P.D James. Thank you

 

[waybread]

She's an older mystery writer, but her book Devices and Desires is sooooo Plutonian.

 

[greybeard]

I haven't hunted in over 50 years. I step over ants on the sidewalk, drive around ground beetles crossing the road. I own no weapons apart from a machete, which is a tool.

 

[Lykanized]

You can gain a lot from looking at yourself from the perspective of astrology, but at some point you have to step back and look at yourself as a human being with X set of qualities and Y set of habits. Everyone has it tough. Pluto doesn't make it tougher. You make it tougher. You think having Pluto aspects makes your life harder, therefor you subconsciously make it harder for yourself because you expect it to be so. It's not Pluto. It's you

 

[waybread]

I haven't hunted in over 50 years. I step over ants on the sidewalk, drive around ground beetles crossing the road. I own no weapons apart from a machete, which is a tool.

Didn't you say you went elk hunting a few weeks ago? It's OK-- most of us are fine with letting the critters live.